we're blogging at a bar
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
