Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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