man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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