I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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