dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
