Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
