If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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