Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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