when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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