where does the pee come out of this thing
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
COCAINE IS GR8
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
