I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
