lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
