Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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