if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
