There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
