It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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