I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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