nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
