My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize