There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
