Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
