You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize