we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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