I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
