So drunk, too bad you don't want this
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
