He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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