I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize