i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize