there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
