I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
