It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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