She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
