My brain says no but my pants say off.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize