Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize