I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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