Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
