ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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