Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize