Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
