Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
She announced her abortion via fbk
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
