I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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