I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize