can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
