i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
