Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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