I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize