To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
