Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My cat gives me a boner
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I AM VODKA MAN
Randomize
