Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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