In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
false alarm, still single
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