I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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