The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
