i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
