im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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