I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
