Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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