i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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