She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
