why didn't you poke me back
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
