its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The uberlube is also flammable
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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