What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
