it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
