Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
