Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
