we're blogging at a bar
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
