Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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