He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
